Thursday, May 10, 2012

I hate pictures of myself

So.  You may have noticed that I make gestures at being a writer.

Obviously, I intend to have my writing published.

There's this crazy thing that happens when you publish a book, though. They want an author photo. I don't know why people want to know what authors look like, truly. Except those authors that go by initials; then you play the "is it a male or a female?" guessing game until you ferret out the answer on the Internet. E.L. James? Female. J.K. Rowling? Female. W.E.B Griffin? Male. You're welcome.

But anyway. I have this pernicious hatred of pictures of myself. I never look the way I think I do, which is a strange thing. Or maybe not. It's an interesting conundrum.

And then it occurred to me that really, I had a lot of latitude. If I decide to put a toe in, publish something through CreateSpace, then the book itself doesn't need a photo, though I should put one on the Amazon author page. Then I thought about it some more, and figured, well why not have some actual fun with an author photo? By "thought about it some more", I really mean that I was bitching about it to a coworker and then tossed off "I should get a gas mask and have it be a picture of me in my 'Keep Calm and Kill Zombies' tshirt, jeans, and with Elka on a leash!" This is one of those things I said to be funny, but then the two of us looked at each other, and I had the "well, maybe....." thought.

Then I thought about it a little more, idly, in the back of my mind. And I thought about the red bridesmaid dress that I had from a wedding last year. And I thought of The Bloggess, and the traveling red dress, and thought "red dress, gas mask, Doberman." Then I thought of the "postapocalypse area" at the park where we walk most often.

This is probably silly, and I'll probably end up with a stodgy author photo with a pile of books, the way everybody else does it. But it's fun to think about.


  1. Hell yeah, have some fun with it!

    Your post reminded me of my time in radio. Just like you never look the way you think you do, you also never sound the way you think you do. Hearing myself on a recording for the first time was surreal and uncomfortable. Who was this man with the mouth full of marbles? Oh crap, that's me. Hearing the sound of your own voice is just part of being in radio and you get used to it. I imaging that taking pictures of yourself is kind of the same thing. It eventually becomes part of the job.

    1. Ooh, yeah, that should be a topic for another post: my voice doesn't sound the way I think it does either! I think that humanity just isn't wired for all of this electronic self-knowledge that we have to deal with!

    2. Oh, interesting. If you want some help writing it, I'd take part. I just finished co-authoring a post I'm going to post on Monday. It was fun.

  2. *OBVIOUSLY* put Elka in a wig and call it a day. ;)

    1. Strangely, I have a friend with many wigs.

      This might work!