Wednesday, July 24, 2013

More quotables, and also a Magical Mystery Box

Regardless of how I ordered the title, I'm telling you about the Magical Mystery Box first.

I sent my bestest friend Kelly a package a couple of months ago. You can read her post about it (with pictures!) at her blog. I covered the outside of it with unicorns that I photocopied from a Fantasy Tattoo ™ book. I stuffed the inside with curiosities and awesomeness, including things like sunglasses, polka dot socks, Urban Decay eyeliner, a Walkman and a cassette tape (sadly, not a mix tape. I really need to hook up my stereo). Oh yeah, and Baby You. I ought to tell the story of Baby You one day, as Kelly has not. Or maybe she will. Or maybe neither of us will, which leaves the world at an impasse.

 (Is it funny to anybody else that in my blog, "Urban Decay" could mean the makeup company, or the current condition of many properties in Detroit? Maybe not funny ha-ha [no, I don't think Detroit is funny. Interesting, yes. Compelling. Not funny.

After I mailed it, I texted her (or maybe Facebook messaged?) that I would really appreciate it if her Fiancè or somebody could take pictures of the opening process, because I'd forgotten to take pictures the contents, and we all love proof of our awesomeness, n'est-ce pas? And Kelly, wisely, was suspicious of this request, but went along with it. The results are awesome. 

And now the quotes!!

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Coworker: You know the look I give you when you're talking about serial killers? That's the look you just gave me when I was talking about wedding stuff.

Me: In Michigan? Was it in the shark or the mitten?
Fiancè: The shark or the....what the fuck are you talking about?
Bryan: You know, the shapes of the state. The shark is biting the mitten.
Me: No, the shark is facing the other way, like the mitten is grabbing at its tail. The shark is biting Minnesota, which is why I guess it looks like a dead headless cow.
Mahria: Oh yeah! 
Fiancè: ......I hate you so much.

Coworker: Why are you looking up heroin?

Fiancè: Did you just sing "Cartoon Express" to the "Garfield & Friends" theme song?
Me: I may have. Maybe I was just testing to see if you knew.
Fiancè: Or maybe you just made up the idea that Cartoon Express had a theme song.
Me: It did, but it wasn't that. Or they were so close that my brain defragged and put them together.

Fiancè: Evidently Gamestop is having a "Summer PlayCation". Placation. I don't think they realize. I don't think they got it.

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