Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Yes, Virginia. I will share more funny things we've said.

Coworker: Yeah, I saw that picture and thought it was you. But then I saw she was wearing blue, and knew that wasn't your thing.
Me: That, and I don't have curly hair. Or, I don't curl it just for the beach. YOLO.

Friend: So, did it come with a raise?
Me: Did what come with a raise?
Friend: Your promotion to Captain of the Fun Police?
Mahria: You'd better run, she's got a knife.

Library Patron: Oh look at this nice empty glass case. Is it for Cinderella? Sleeping Beauty?
Me: Snow White. Sleeping Beauty was up in a tower while she was sleeping, with all those thorns.
Kate: Sorry if he's not up on his Disney Princesses
Me: Who's talking about Disney? I'm talking about Brothers Grimm
Library Patron: Ooh, Brothers Grimm
Me: Though strangely, Sleeping Beauty is the only one with the happy ending. Other than the whole "having two children before she wakes up" thing.
Library Patron: Two children while asleep? Yeah, that's not so great.
Me: Yup. More than a little rapey.
Library Patron: You have to wonder what Freud would've done with that.
Me: Gone for three?

Coworker: Okay, so I'm going to tell you this dessert idea I have, and you tell me if it's totally out there or not.
Me: Is this dessert against The Man? Is that our segue here?
Coworker: Our segue is food, which is always relevant.

Me: I'm going to call that kind of  guy a Douche Billed Platypus from now on. You heard it here first. You know, the guys with the straight brimmed hats that have to be at just the right douchebag angle? Yeah, those ones.

Coworker: Hey, you can't go wrong with Sega.
Me: Sega CD?
Coworker: Yeah, that's a nightmare I can't unlive.


  1. "douche billed platypus" OMG, Am dying here...THANK you. I hate those hats. :D