Me: That guy doesn't blink enough. He looks like a serial killer.
Fiancè: Sometimes you blink too much, and I'd think you were a serial killer if it wasn't for the cleanup involved.
Me: That's fair.
Friend: Oh. I wasn't expecting that. (while taking allergy pills)
Fiancè: Yeah, they're the off brand so they don't have the same coating.
Me: MOST PEOPLE DON'T TASTE THEIR PILLS
Fiancè: Shut up, Julie
Fiancè: You just violated the Geneva convention with your mouth.
Me: Oh hey, there are Great Danes in the Pokerface video. They're all "Lady, what are you doing?"
Fiancè: Lady Gaga.
Me: They just want to know where the meat dress went.
Fiancè: You girly girl! You like Pokerface! You're all "Oh, I don't mind that song..." You LOVE it.
Me: Okay, maybe I like it.
Fiancè: I think that's the first time I've actually seen somebody wave their arms like they didn't care. Congratulations.
Friend: Honestly, I wanted flying squirrels, but couldn't have them in this state.
Me: You can just go to the library park and get a couple.
Fiancè: Those aren't flying squirrels.
Me: The fuck they aren't. Just get them little goggles and put them in planes.
Fiancè: Jen, you...actually, let me rephrase that. Shut up, Julie.
Friend: Well, there are some flying squirrels that make really good pets.
Fiancè: No, that's just brunettes. Have you met mine? We call her Julie.