Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Female coworker: Oh, that shirt looks so much better on [other coworker] than it did on me!
Me: *blank look*
Female coworker: What, I gave her some of my clothes I wasn't wearing.
Me: I don't even know what my clothes look like, I can't be bothered to keep track of yours too.
Male coworker: I'm going on break. Bye.
Friend: Oh clowns, I hate clowns. They deaths they've caused.
Me: Geeze, you have one guy who's a serial killer and also happens to be a clown and you ruin an entire subculture.
Friend: I think more than one clown is a serial killer.
Me: I don't think that's true.
Friend: I found a list of clowns!
Me: If they haven't killed anybody, they aren't a serial killer, are they?
Friend: Look at this face and tell me he hasn't killed anybody.
Me: Isn't that Pennywise?
Friend: Oh. I guess this is a list of fictional clowns. Maybe it was just Gacy.
Me: I'll get a green pepper, I know you don't like the red ones as much.
Fiancè: Yeah, they're too sweet.
Me: And I'm all the sweet you need!
Fiancè: Well, you forget people exist, so how sweet are we talking here? Just how sweet?
Me: It's not on purpose. Does that make it worse?
Fiancè: Yes. Yes it does.
Male coworker: Really, how many bodies are we talking about? If you're only digging a single grave, you can't claim to be using gravedigging for cardio. You would need a constant supply.
Fiancè: I liked it better before you visited Imgur on your own, because then I could show you things.