Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Merry Christmas!

Female coworker: Oh, that shirt looks so much better on [other coworker] than it did on me!
Me: *blank look*
Female coworker: What, I gave her some of my clothes I wasn't wearing.
Me: I don't even know what my clothes look like, I can't be bothered to keep track of yours too.
Male coworker: I'm going on break. Bye.

Friend: Oh clowns, I hate clowns. They deaths they've caused.
Me: Geeze, you have one guy who's a serial killer and also happens to be a clown and you ruin an entire subculture.
Friend: I think more than one clown is a serial killer.
Me: I don't think that's true.
Friend: I found a list of clowns!
Me: If they haven't killed anybody, they aren't a serial killer, are they?
Friend: Look at this face and tell me he hasn't killed anybody.
Me: Isn't that Pennywise?
Friend: Oh. I guess this is a list of fictional clowns. Maybe it was just Gacy.

Me: I'll get a green pepper, I know you don't like the red ones as much.
Fiancè: Yeah, they're too sweet.
Me: And I'm all the sweet you need!
Fiancè: Well, you forget people exist, so how sweet are we talking here? Just how sweet?
Me: It's not on purpose. Does that make it worse?
Fiancè: Yes. Yes it does.

Male coworker: Really, how many bodies are we talking about? If you're only digging a single grave, you can't claim to be using gravedigging for cardio. You would need a constant supply.

Fiancè: I liked it better before you visited Imgur on your own, because then I could show you things.


  1. Honestly, Pennywise is pretty bad ass...fictional or not

    1. Arguably, Pennywise is one of the most powerful fictional characters created. According to self-reports, he's ruined clowns for any number of people. Hundreds? Thousands? What I took away from It was not the Pennywise was the enemy, though, but rather an aspect of the enemy....because some people are bothered by clowns. And now more people are bothered by clowns. It's almost a tautological argument!