Friday, September 11, 2015

Quotable Quotes from Gaming Life

A lot of gaming quotes are really only funny in context. I know it, you know that. Some gamers don't.

Then, there are some gaming quotes that are funny regardless. May I direct your attention to: Out of Context D&D

We frequently have D&D going in my household (well, Pathfinder), but we've also had Shadow Run and most recently Fading Suns going on in our gaming group. I thought I'd wade through and find some gems from there.


"Lemons stop paladins from entering your house."


"You could play the 24 hour version of Happy"
"Or you could die in a fire."

"Horrible dragon rats."
"Yeah, dragons will sleep with anything. They're almost as bad as goblins."

"The cockatrice is stuck to the mace."
"It adds another D1."

DM: "Roll perception."
Player 1: "I don't see dick"
Player 2: "I do!"
Player 1: "All the dicks!"

Purple worm tequila


"Now it's been established that you're starting yoga to suck your own dick."

"So we're all aware, I'm carrying tinder twigs."
"Is it so we can light a candle at your funeral?"

Shadow Run

"My knowledge of male modeling won't help here."

"Do you have real pants or mechanical pants?"

"Dried frogs fix everything."
"I'm not going to fall for that again."

"Look, that's where pizza crust comes from. Those are pizza crust bushes."

"I don't care who comes in with me, I just don't want to get molested while I'm in VR."
"That's our group fetish."

"We need to go to my boat. I bought a boat for 100 Nuyen and it's got a dog with it. The dog's name is Rover and the boat's name is Red."
"No, that's what we tell suckers. Everybody knows you don't have dogs on a boat, you have cats."

"Look, honey, we came to the Barrens to choke a bitch."

"That'll go over like a fart in church."
"That's how we congregate, I don't understand the joke."   

"I'm still hungry."
"I've got a bag of dried frogs."
"Yeah, that'll do." 

 When renting a limo:

"How much blood is in it?"
"Zero blood that you will see."

"Your hacker friend is bad and should feel bad."

"I need to know what instruction does."

"I'll draw you a diagram of how fucked you are."

Fading Suns

There was some confusion about how tight (or not) the fit of a space suit was in our Fading Suns game. Finally I asked "David Bowie or Neil Armstrong?"

Me: Do you pinky swear?
Housemate: What are you, five?
Friend: I am so five right now

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